I know I previously stated that my true hair identity was parting on left side, but what you need to understand is that just because I'm shifting back to my traditional hairstyle doesn't mean I was "wrong" or "confused" before. For some of us this sort of thing is just more fluid.
But then there's the matter of my Schrodinger's dick, and any confirmation I can offer you in terms of its "reality". First of all, I hardly think this is the sort of thing I should be allowed to determine on my own. What if I'm biased to... something. But at the same time, it's hardly fair that our current and constantly in flux society should get to make that call as to whether or not I have a dick either. I believe we should really just wait to hear from the proper arbiters for these sorts of important determinations. So, whenever you're ready, fan-fic authors, we await your infallible decrees.